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Book Excerpt to help raise finds for Jingle Jam

You pause at the threshold. The draught from the station tunnel is strong—a cold exhalation of open, rotten air: wet leaves, decay, something animal. For the first time, a hollow pang that isn’t hunger. It is dread. The lab’s terrible certainty is behind you. The unknown ahead. The light is different there. The air moves. He saw what was coming. Understood the calculus. A quick, quiet end in a familiar room, versus… this. This walking into the dark with a rotting mind, a screaming gut, and a head full of someone else’s fading photographs. Perhaps it wasn’t cowardice. Perhaps it was clarity. You step into the tunnel. The Victorian brick arches loom. The air smells of wet stone and a green, triumphant decay. Far ahead, a pinprick of grey, diffuse light. Daylight. Filtered through a dense lattice of leaves. The world has been breathing here a long, long time. Please donate to My Tiltify for Become this Jingle Jam. Small donations are wanted. Anything helps but you could also get a shout ...
Recent posts

What's your experience with Microsoft?

 As a Creative Writing Student, I have an interesting relationship with Microsoft products. Word and I have worked together since the age of Clippy. We work together so regularly that my computer weeps with joy when I open my projects. We spend hours together staring blankly at each other. Our trials and tribulations also extend to the unique differences in software versions. For instance, my computer, laptop, and the university's library all have different versions, which can cause some interesting formatting errors. I use Excel to track word count, story progression, and CYOA paths because English requires a lot of math. I know how to use Outlook even if we aren't on speaking terms, it knows what it did. It's so secure that it bricks your computer if you lose access to the e-mail. I use Publisher often to type-set projects and I get on well enough with PowerPoint to make niche presentations and Pitch Decks. I currently use Edge. OneNote seems interesting, but ...

Overwhelmed - A hysterical woman's perspective.

  Why do I cry at the little things? At the rung in my new tights. The zip that broke on my bag. The laundry that sits waiting to be done for the 3rd week in a row? It's because I've taught myself that I couldn't be upset at the big things. I can get upset about the little things because they can be fixed or they don't matter too much. A rung doesn't matter too much. Most won't notice or care. It's also one in a pack of 6, I could just put on another pair. My zip can be fixed. Maybe by me or my kids or my partner or even a stranger in the park. I can't do the whole laundry, sure. But I can take out all my underwear and hand wash them. Leave the bulk of it till I feel better able to cope or someone big and strong chucks it into the back of my car to do at mums. But the big things my brain has been conditioned to go "well what's the point. Nobody can help". Why reach out about my ex-husbands temper? because I tried, and nobody took notice no ...

The Collage Atlas

 In the spirit of World Mental Health Day on the 10th of October I played The Collage Atlas which was a lovely game to play before bed. Its a lovingly hand crafted world encompassing themes of memory, agency and hope. Move through a guided story in a sketchbook like world that reacts to your every move. Your agency curates the background music, where you look, where you move breathes life into the still drawing surrounding you. Follow the little pinwheels for a direct adventure or wonder around to explore the dedication of John Evelyn’s artistic mind. Your curiousness brings to life the area around you as you collect keys, knock letters back into place and complete puzzles to advance the story and fill in the book’s pages. It has simple controls and often prompts you clearly down in the bottom right hand corner. The pretty artwork and mindful words make this game a lovely little thing to experience when you’re feeling a little low (my mind isn’t so kind right now between a pain fla...

Pamper Sessions

Everyone deserves a bit of pampering now and then.  It’s all about finding those little moments of joy and relaxation in all the hubbub and chaos of daily life. How about you? What’s your go-to way to pamper yourself? Maybe a spa day, a favourite hobby, or just some quiet time hidden under the stair with your chocolate stash away from the partner and kids?  Here are some I do: ☐ Paint my nails. Normal or Gel. I like gels as they last a touch longer being bashed by wheelchair spokes, rims and walls. I also put little designs on them like ghosties or pumpkins or flowers. And if I haven't bashed my nails too recently I have lovely long nails to doodle over.  ☐ Ask for help to take a shower. Like, sure, this probably might be simplified to just taking a long soak or hot shower for you. But hay. It can be sexy. Or Silly. In my case I feel sorry for my neighbouring room that has a thin wall between her head and my wash room. Because me and my partner sing horrendously to ea...